Option A Career, Option B Baby - What Is Option C?

By Giadha DeCarcer

I was recently talking to a girlfriend about how demoralizing our situation seems given that in our mid to late thirties, after having being focused for so long to position ourselves professionally, we are now suddenly awakening to the cruel reality of a disappearing window of opportunity in terms of having children.  As noted in a recent article, Why Women's Pay Growth Slows At Age 30 And Peaks By 39: 

Women’s slowing wages at age 30 may correlate with having children. [Cornell University professor Francine] Blau notes that some women may drop out of the labor force for a time or reduce their hours when they have young children.

If I want to be a mom do I really need to trade it in for my work and jeopardize whatever professional success I have achieved thus far?  I need more time!  And I need more options!

I was overjoyed when I heard Jennifer Aniston was finally getting pregnant at a booming 42 years of age.  That excitement was quickly subdued when I found out she had her eggs frozen a millennia ago.  I did some online research and talked to my doctor, and the situation does look pretty dim.  In essence, getting pregnant after 35 is risky in almost every single aspect, and every day that passes after that life changing birthday worsens the situation exponentially.  If the health of the mother and baby were not sufficient 'fear factors', a woman's body at such age may not bounce back as it would have a decade earlier.  Trying to get pregnant at this point could be a full time job all on its own and waiting hardly seems an option.  

That said, most career-driven women such as myself have not achieved professional and financial satisfaction until recently, that is, in our mid thirties.  Realistically speaking, it takes on average a good decade to get a Bachelor degree, work for a few years, go back to school for a Master, and become a legitimate 'professional' in one's field.  Which leaves some of us right here: At the pinnacle of our career and the deathbed of potential motherhood.  Does that mean I am in big, BIG, trouble because I am in my mid 30's and not quite ready yet?  As hilarious as Marisa Tomei was in My Cousin Vinny, with her "my biological clock is ticking", I am not laughing, I am terrified.

So what can I do?  Are the only choices really A. Have a baby pronto and walk away from a successful career, or B. Not have a baby and give up on arguably one of the most life-changing experiences anyone could have?  Most of my friends seem to think so, and per recent research by Francine Blau, professor of economics and industrial and labor relations at Cornell University, so do most women.  I am an entrepreneur and entrepreneurs pride themselves for seeing opportunities where others see insurmountable challenges.  If no solution exists at present, we stubborn type A's like to shift paradigms, bend rules, and create solutions out of thin air.  I therefore choose option C. 

Countries such as France and Sweden have sophisticated social infrastructures and government programs designed to support women's ability to continue contributing to the domestic economy without it negatively impacting the national birth rate.  Such nations have instituted laws requiring all employers to offer both maternity and paternity leave, flexible work schedules, telecommuting, as well as, when needed, government financial assistance allowing women to subsidize their household income and have more children.  These conditions significantly diminish the disincentives working females face when considering motherhood.  The United States does not have such government-mandated conditions, however that does not mean such conditions can not be created here in America all the same.  

Studies such as one recently published by American Express, Women-Owned Businesses Among The Leaders In Job Creation And Revenue Growth, have shown that an increasing percentage of small businesses in the US are being created by women.  Many attribute this phenomena to precisely the dilemma I outline here - wanting to have a family and not wanting to give up ones career.  If that trend continues, we will see more and more women-run businesses responsible for creating new jobs in America.  Many of these women have chosen option C by designing the circumstances necessary to allow themselves to continue their career progress, while having the time and flexibility necessary to also experience motherhood.   

Option C benefits do not have to be limited to these entrepreneurial ladies.  If every female business owner takes it upon herself to create the type of corporate culture that encourages the same support seen in France or Sweden, women facing the 'career or baby' dilemma and unwilling or unable to start their own company will begin gravitating towards such companies.  I would dare venture that the cost associated with providing such benefits would soon be outweighed by a more positive work environment and consequent greater productivity, not to mention branding recognition for social awareness.  We should not rely solely on government or corporate America to support our option C, what we need to do as female professionals is believe in it, support it, and promulgate it.