Are We Ready to Talk About Attractive Women in the Workplace?

By Giadha Aguirre De Carcer 

"The fact is, I rarely go out to lunch or drinks with an attractive woman, unless there is a large group of us. I'm not proud of this, but it's the truth." Chris Herbert, The Daily Muse

I have been thinking about writing on the benefits and challenges of being a smart, yet [yes, 'yet'] attractive female in the workplace, and I am now extremely happy and relieved I have delayed doing so.  The topic is delicate and can become controversial if not talked about within the right parameters.  In fact, it seems that rather than bringing attention to uncomfortably real situations women have been experiencing for years, it can bring about the complete opposite reaction from readers who are quick to cry out "awwww, poor thing, so she is pretty AND smart?! yeah, tough..." 

Articles such as the recently published 'There are downsides to looking this pretty': Why women hate me for being beautiful are the perfect illustration of how the subject can ignite severe criticism if not approached appropriately.  I am certain the author, Samantha Brick, had the right intentions when she decided to write about her experiences, and I would not be surprised that those experiences may have felt real to her.  Unfortunately, the article is written in a way that leaves too much room to judge her personally, rather than her experiences, and does not bring into account broader, better documented, factors that would have given her argument -that there may be some downsides to being attractive- a little more credibility.

Recently published articles such as Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, on the latest issue of the Economist, or What Your Male Co-Workers Really Think posted on the online publication the Daily Muse, are probably better attempts at addressing the issue, even if they shy away from some of the 'meatier' and harder issues at play.  Ironically, the Economist article may be what led Ms. Brick  to take a leap and write her own more personal version.

A piece such as the one by Chris Herbert is of course a much safer bet as it is written by a man, thus minimizing the risk of the type of criticism Ms. Brick received.  In essence the writer admitted to wrong doing, and for that I commend him.  Such confessions, for lack of a better term, would in fact be quite effective in bringing to light some of the cruel realities many women encounter in the workplace.  Unfortunately, I am hesitant to expect much more to be written on the topic from male writers, if nothing else, because the issues at hand are primarily relevant to ladies.  Even if we did see more coverage from male reporters, one could also argue that they likely lack the insight to  understand and cover the full scope of the issue.

It appears that if you are trying to explain why, and how, it can be challenging for you to handle female colleagues who may feel threatened by your looks, youth, intellect [or all of the above]; or why and how it may be difficult to connect with male colleagues who can be equally, if for different reasons, intimidated by your looks, youth, etc., you will likely face some significant pushback.  No one likes a whiner, and no one likes a whiner who whines about being pretty, young, and/or smart...