Years ago,
when one of my friends started a new job, her company dispatched its new hires
to an etiquette clinic, where they were taught some of civilization’s most
genteel niceties, such as the proper way of holding a red wine glass vs. a
white wine glass. I got a real kick out of hearing about this (how come nobody
ever sends me to these kinds of workshops?), but not as much as the one I got
out of this Entrepreneur magazine article someone
recently forwarded me about how to behave yourself when you’re having a
business meeting over booze. I initially thought it was something out of the Onion - but it’s as real as business etiquette
clinics.
The
bar is not a topic of conversation;
If there are more than [two of you], do
not sit at the bar;
Respect the bartender. And the host;
Sitting up straight is evidence of a
backbone. It is also evidence that you're not so inebriated you can't conduct
business; and
The weaker your drink, the stronger your position.
It blows
my mind that a grown-up needs to be told any of this. Ever since I was a teenager,
my special set of elders has given me reams of unsolicited advice about how not
to professionally self-destruct. One of the chief pearls was: ALWAYS
UNDER-DRINK AT WORK-RELATED EVENTS, IF YOU EVEN DECIDE TO DRINK AT ALL. The
more time I’ve spent in the workforce, the more I realize how many people
either never got these talks or have chosen to ignore them. At my first open-bar
corporate holiday party, after having had at least one too many, one of my
co-workers called out a manager for failing to promote her.
Speaking
of calling people out, there’s one section of this Entrepreneur article that strikes me as particularly outrageous:
[D]o
not order your own drink if your drink is not a serious drink.
The descending order of appropriate
drinks for business meetings:
1. Any of the following: martini; whiskey
and something; whiskey; something and soda; something and tonic; beer;
something with the word "sling" in it.
2. All
other drinks.
Holy Old Boys’ Network. (Take a look at who the two people featured in this
article’s accompanying visual are.)
Attention all non-alpha males: if you’re going out for business drinks
with anyone, order whatever you’re in
the mood for – but just one glass or bottle (and either eat something filling beforehand
or don’t drink the whole cocktail if you’re a super-lightweight). Know what
you’re talking about (backwards and forwards), know what you generally want out
of the session (where you’re willing to compromise and what your
non-negotiables are), and focus more on the seriousness of the conversation’s substance
than on the “seriousness” of the liquor.
And, yes, please do remember to respect your bartender/server. Also remember
that if you’re enough of a baller to be making deals in bars, you can afford to
leave a serious tip.
.
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